EPISODE SUMMARY
Guest: Malysa Stone
In this inspirational episode, Malysa Stone talks about breaking generational patterns of abuse, alcoholism, crime, drug abuse, and migraines. She describes growing up living in a car with a father who abused drugs as well as a foster home. She comes from many, many generations of drugs, addiction, and mental illness within the last few generations of her family. She’s the only one in her family who's never gone to prison or become addicted to drugs.
She has turned the patterns of abuse by helping others and overcoming chronic health issues.
Here are a few highlights:
She has been living with Migraines since she was a young child and found relief at the Blair Chiropractic Clinic a couple of years ago.
Growing up homeless and hopeless and deciding at a young age, she was going to be different.
Discussing how trauma and pain caused syncope episodes. The doctors told her that the reason for it was because she was in so much pain that her body needed to reset. So a syncope episode is when your heart and your brain is out of sync, so it shuts down and boots back up like a computer.
Malysa had the support of her husband to stop working 13 years ago and focus on her health full-time.
Is Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis curable? Malysa discusses remission of Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis through medical care with Mohammed Bakdash, MD and education about nutrition. A combination of medication and AIP eating plan worked together to bring about healing.
Is Fibromyalgia curable?
What is the cost of investing in health vs. doing nothing?
The treatment for migraines in Lubbock started with imaging using CBCT scan.
Sometimes, the pain gets worse before it gets better.
Part of the healing process was starting a non-profit helping others.
Find Unforgotten Angels.
To contact Ruth, go to https://www.blairclinic.com
ruth@blairclinic.com
https://www.facebook.com/rutelin
TRANSCRIPT
Welcome. Welcome to What Pain in the Neck? I am Ruth Elder, your host. And in this podcast episode, I have a very special guest that has grown to be near and dear to my heart. In fact, I just called her soul sister. It just popped out because it felt right. And we have been able to make a connection, and both of us have had really serious health issues and have found solutions to it. And that's why I want to tell her story now. If you're listening and you're suffering and you don't know what to do, please give me a call. You can call the Blair Clinic in Lubbock, or you can go to our website, www.blairclinic.com, and it has a chat bubble. And if you ask a question through the bubble, that goes to my cell phone. And I'd love to help you find a problem with your solution, but with that, I want to welcome Malysa Stone.
Thank you
Malysa, we have known each other for how long?
I would say at least a year, maybe a little more now.
I think probably yeah. Been around that. So it was actually kind of a funny story
It was a funny story how we met.
Yeah. So do you want to tell it?
No, you go ahead.
So just like I just said, I have set up a few things so that I can help people quicker. It's my passion to if somebody wants help, I want to help you. And so I'd set up - I have very few alerts on my phone, but I had just set it up, so if I got a Facebook message or that bubble on the website. It would alert me on my phone. And so you sent a message.
I did. Early that morning.
Yes. And I had just set it up and I got so excited. It works! So I immediately texted you back. And it was so quick that you didn't think I was real?
I thought, you're a robot.
So you almost gave up on me?
I did.
But I got so excited and answered it so quick that I didn't read your message properly. So I actually made a mistake. Like, I answered - I didn't quite answer your question because I got too excited. And if I was a bot, I probably wouldn't have made that mistake.
Yeah, that's true.
I'm so glad you didn't give up on me.
I am too. That morning that I messaged you, I was in so much pain, and so when I got that immediate response, I was like, “It's a bot, I'm moving on.” Because I didn't think it was a real person.
But then just a few minutes later, you responded. Yes. And then you answered back anyway. So what made you change your mind?
I thought, what if I’m wrong and they can help me?
So you said you were in a lot of pain. What were you going through? What was going on?
I would say when I was 6, I started getting really bad migraines. And it continued throughout my life. My neck, my shoulder, mostly my head. I would be in bed for 4 or 5 days at a time.
So the morning that you texted me was one of those mornings?
Yeah, and it was a migraine, but my hip had come out. My hip needed to be adjusted. Everything needed - my entire right side needed to be adjusted because it was so out of alignment. I was in pain everywhere. I also - I have fibromyalgia, and I have some other health things too, but I think a lot of it has come from me just being immobile from all the pain that I've been in all my life.
You’ve got a really incredible story, and we'll start, I think, from you mentioned age six. So we'll talk a little bit about your background.
Okay.
Because what actually motivated me to invite you is that you've gone through substantial things, but you have such an incredible story of hope and overcoming, and you put a Facebook post out there where you were talking about overcoming some of your immune issues, and you mentioned fibromyalgia, but I think you also
Hashimoto's. Hypothyroidism. They say depression, but I'm not depressed, it's from the pain, just like you said in yours. I'm not depressed.
There's a difference. And also with the hypothyroidism, usually low mood follows that too.
Yes.
But the reason I wanted to invite you here is you said something about being in remission and overcoming your autoimmune issues, and that's what I'm all about, is finding solutions for that. And so then when I reached out to you and asked you if you'd be willing to come on, you said you would be happy to do that and that you felt strongly that it had to do - a lot of your autoimmune issues and the chronic issues that you have now as an adult, came from your childhood trauma.
Absolutely. I 100% believe that.
Would you be willing - you can share as little or as much as you're comfortable to share.
Yeah, my dad was a drug addict, and he has been up until the last couple of years. He has dementia now to where he's kind of forgotten about that. Which is kind of crazy. He’ll be 68 next week.
You were sharing with me that he's got drug induced dementia.
Yes, he does.
And then the dementia has caused him to forget that he took drugs. Just kind of ironic.
From the age of about 14/15 years old on up till now.
Wow.
A long time.
That's a long time to be taking drugs. It’s amazing he’s still alive though.
It is amazing because nobody else is. And I don't know how he's done it, because he wasn't somebody that could function. He wasn't a functioning drug addict.
So what was your life like growing up with that?
Stressful. When I was five, me and my brothers were sent to foster care. I went with my aunt who tried to adopt me, and my brothers went to separate foster homes. We all came back together a year later, but when we came back, I came back with migraines. I don't remember them before foster care. I don't think it had anything to do with foster care because I went to my aunt's house, she took very good care of me.
How were you able to get back to your parents? What kind of situation?
My mother put us in voluntary foster care. My mom and my dad and all of their siblings were raised out at the Lubbock Children's Home, because they didn't have parents.
So this is not just your childhood trauma.
Many, many generations of drugs, addiction, mental illness, a lot of things within the last few generations of my family. I'm the only one in my family that's never gone to prison or gotten on drugs.
You know, this is such an amazing story of hope, and I would have never known. And this right here is the very reason that I wanted to invite you and hear your story. Because you would think after all those generations that you were destined for the same.
I was. And I was very conscious of it from a very young age.
Oh, seriously?
Yeah, before school, I was conscious of, I'm going to be just like them if I don't change.
So you were just determined to be different, even as a young child?
I was. I was asked to be placed back into foster care when I was twelve to get an education. I was told no.
Oh, wow.
But I tried to get out of the situation we were in. So at six years old, I came home from foster care, and that's when my migraine started. Probably from the stress of being back home. I was the oldest. I took care of my brothers a lot.
Your brothers? So you have how many brothers?
I have two. One passed away in a car accident. In 2002.
I’m sorry.
Thank you. He left four kids and a wife behind.
Oh, no.
He did not get on drugs. He started drinking.
Well, that's a drug.
Yes, it is. I agree. I don't drink at all. And there's a reason I don't drink, and it's because of all the generations of addiction in my family. It's not a chance I'm willing to take. My other brother went to prison for 20 years for drugs.
So you were having migraines as a young child. Were they constant? Were they off and on? How often were you having them?
I only remember the first one up until probably around 11 or 12. And then they just got progressively bad. Like really bad. I couldn't keep a job. I was getting fired because I couldn't go to work, because I couldn't see to drive to work.
You were telling me before that you got more and more problems and you had some problems with staying awake?
Insomnia.
Yeah. It wasn't asleep, but you would sometimes have bouts of going unconscious?
Yes. Syncope episodes. And the doctors told me that the reason for it was because I was in so much pain that my body needed to reset. So a syncope episode is when your heart and your brain is out of sync, so it shuts down and boots back up like a computer.
So, Malysa. How did you do it, living with that? How did you cope and what were your mechanisms to make it through?
I didn't cope with it very well. I was raising my kids. I didn't have time to deal with my own health issues. I took pain medication for almost 10 years. I took one hydrocodone that was 1000 milligrams every single morning for 10 years. And then I finally decided I was tired of it. I never wanted to take it to begin with. I just didn't know what else to do. And I had to work. That's when my husband told me, “stop working, stay home and let's fix your health.” That's what I've been doing for the last 13 years. And I feel like I'm good for the most part. It took me about 10 years to get here and I just haven't gone back to work.
Yeah, that's good. I'm really glad that you had support. So you have done a lot just by being strong and determined and doing things on your own, and then you found a life partner that's been supporting you. So right now, you both own a pretty successful business.
We do. We own a very successful business.
And that's another thing. That's a really incredible story from coming out of the background that you were because that was not a thing in your family to see business success.. But at the time your husband said, “quit working and stay home and take care of your health,” that was not the case. So that's also amazing that you had that kind of support. And I'm really glad on that. That's something that I have seen here in the clinic too, that having supportive partner really helps.
It makes a huge difference. I was able to take the time to educate myself on diet, on how diet affects your health, because I wasn't raised - we ate whatever we could eat.
Okay. So I want to go there and what kind of changes you made. But before we do that, I want to ask a really important question. And that is, what advice do you have to someone like you that are in a desperate health situation and they're just scared, well, “can I afford to take care of myself?” I often hear people say, “Well, I can't afford it.”
And that was my case. But you can afford it because you can't afford to not afford it.
So the cost, when you figure the cost, what is the cost of staying in that state is also part of the equation.
It was very high. I was in the emergency room a few times a month because I couldn't control my migraines. The medication I was on didn't control my migraines. And the medication that I was on completely rewired my brain. I don't communicate the way that I used to. I used to be a writer. I don't write the way that I used to. And I feel like it's the migraine medication I was prescribed, not the pain medicine. The pain medicine was an issue too, but it was the migraine medicine.
We got a pretty good picture, and thank you for being so vulnerable with us. I want to move into you said you started working on your health. And for the most part, you're good now. When we talked the other day, you said you're about 80% back to normal?
Yeah, I am.
So what were some things that have worked for you? Describe that journey, because when it comes right down to it, that's really what this show is about, is about the solutions.
It was a very long process, and I had no idea what I was doing when I went into it. There's a lot of trying different things. And you asked, what's the advice to other people in my position? It’s “don't stop looking.”
What I'm taking away is you just made a decision, along with your husband, we're gonna get better.
Yeah, I did. And I was willing to do just about anything, and there was no cost that was gonna be too expensive. Even though at that point in our life, we couldn't afford medical care. But I could afford to do other things. I could learn to meditate through the pain. I could do yoga, which helps a lot.
Movement is good medicine.
Mhm. I can change my diet, and that's how I started.
When you say change your diet, what was a strategy that worked for you?
I started out with AIP.
And that stands for Autoimmune Paleo?
Autoimmune Protocol. I did that for eight months.
And that is you eat clean protein and lots of vegetables and not a lot of other stuff.
Yes. Nothing out of a box, nothing out of a can. Mine was a little stricter. Nothing with dyes. No sodium, only fresh. No pasta. I didn't eat pasta. I still don't really eat pasta.
Because of the gluten. Right?
Yeah.
I've done this protocol myself, so I know there's no grain, basically protein, vegetables, and fruit.
It's very simple. And people ask, “well, how do you do it?” But really it's not that hard. You have lots of choices. You just have to know what to do with them.
How did you know to do that?
I didn't. I was desperate. I've done so much research on the Internet, and I read that paleo could help me get on the right track. After the AIP, I went to paleo, and my doctor suggested it.
So doctors have been part of your solution, plural right? And so I think that's important. So we've been a piece of that.
Yes absolutely.
But we often talk about when you have really complicated situations. There's more than one answer. And sometimes you need a multipronged approach. You found a doctor. Was that 10, 13 years ago?
No, I found a doctor about five years ago.
And he was a thyroid specialist, you said?
He's an endocrinologist. He's one of the top endocrinologists for thyroid in this area. I found him through Facebook.
Should we say his name? Is he okay with that?
Yeah, I'm sure he is. His name is Dr. Mohammed Bakdash.
I will find him online and link in the notes. (See link above).
When I came to him, I didn't trust doctors at all.
So what has he done for you and what made you decide to trust him?
He is the first doctor that ever did a full thyroid panel and I didn't know that that needed to be done.
The verdict was?
I had Hashimoto's and my goiter was at 30% growth and that I was pretty sick and everything made sense. Everything made sense from all of my life.
We did mention that you had put on Facebook recently, that your hashimoto's is in remission.
Yes, it's been in remission. I went into remission within a year of being his patient.
That's amazing.
That is amazing.
So how did you do it? What was the process?
Really it was just my diet. He changed my medication. I went to natural desiccated thyroid medicine instead of the synthetic. That made a huge difference. Just that in itself made a big difference. I changed my diet, and I started doing yoga. I also started meditating a little bit more than I did, and I just put that into my yoga routine. And it took me probably eight months to really start feeling good. I felt really good at first, anyway, just from changing my diet because it was so bad. There was a time in my life when I was drinking 2-3 liters of Dr. Pepper a day.
Wow.
I might drink a 16 ounce bottle of Sprite a day now and water. So the life changes made a huge difference. But then when I came to see Dr. Elder. because my neck and shoulders hurt so bad, and I never knew why, and I always told doctors, I was like, “it hurts so bad. Something's wrong. Like, the bottom of my neck. I can feel it.” And they made me feel like it was all in my head for years and years. I spent thousands - so many MRIs and Cat scans.
That's almost exactly like my story
That's what I told you earlier.
Yes.
I really was starting to think I was crazy. And they were telling me I was depressed, and I was like, I'm not depressed.
Okay, so do you want to talk about that process? How did you find out about us? And then I know that it was intimidating to make the first contact for you.
Yes. Had it been my migraines, I probably just would have continued living with them. But my neck and shoulders were getting so bad. By the time I contacted you guys, and I just happened to find you on Facebook, and I saw that you were not a regular chiropractor, because I had already done that many different chiropractors over 20-30 years, and it just didn't help. It helped for that minute.
Do you remember what it was that caught your eye or made you realize that, “oh, this is different?”
I don't remember. I think it was just one of your posts on there. Dr. Elder's not a regular chiropractor. When I try to explain it to everybody, I'm like, “you need to go see him.” They look at me like I'm crazy because they don't understand. He doesn't adjust the way other chiropractors do, and I can't explain it.
There's no popping, twisting, or jerking.
That's what I tell them, and they just kind of look at me like, “oh, he's probably not. It's probably not going to do any good.”
But was that your first thought, too, it probably won't do any good?
My thought was I can afford to go see this chiropractor. I might as well try it once. Because the morning I contacted you, I couldn't walk. My hip hurt so bad, everything was out of alignment.
So essentially, you had nothing to lose.
I had nothing to lose, yeah.
What was your healing like? Because now you're walking, and you just told me that you were 80% back to normal. But this is little over a year in, so why don't you talk about that process?
So I came in the first time and did some imaging. I don't remember the proper names for everything that he did.
The imaging that we do here, the letters are CBCT scan, and that stands for a cone beam CT scan. And it's basically a fancy X ray. The benefits of using this kind of X ray is it's very low radiation, but we get a very good picture. So you get a complete 3D picture of everything from your shoulders and up to the top of your head, and you can look at it from the outside in, from the top down, from the bottom to the top, and even from the inside out, so you can get a complete picture of your head and neck. And interestingly, you and I don't really look anything alike.
Yeah.
Our bones are that way, too, so your bones do not look like my bones. And so that's part of what makes a difference, because we can account for how everybody is made different, and everybody's injury is unique to them. That way, the doctor can measure off the X ray and make that correction that's just so light that you don't even feel it.
I think I came back. I don't think he went over it all with me the same day, but we went over it all, and there was a lot of stuff that showed up, and I don't remember it all, but everything made sense.
And usually that's why we do it the second day, because taking the picture is very quick. It only takes a few seconds. But like you said, he could see a lot of things that was not right. That CT scan has so much information on it that it would be a very long day and a very boring day, because you would have to wait for him to look at everything. So that's why usually we do the scan on one day, and then you come back the next day, unless you're driving hours to come here, which we have a lot of people who do that, too. But in your case, well, you're not exactly down the street, but you're local to Lubbock?
Yes.
Okay, so he explained everything?
He explained everything, and it all made sense. Like everything he said made sense to me, and that's why I kept coming back. And the first adjustment was horrible. I didn't fell him. I didn't feel him do anything. But I couldn't walk for three days.
Really?
I could not get out of my bed for three days. I was hunched over.
But you said you couldn't really walk when you came in either.
No, but it got worse after the adjustment.
Oh, my goodness. So what did you think and why did you come back?
Because he told me. He said it doesn't happen very often, but it might get worse. I was like, “okay, well, I'm sure I’ll be fine.”
I'm sorry that you were one of those.
It was horrible. And I told him I was like, “I couldn't walk for three days.”
And then after three days, what happened?
I started getting better. And I think it was subtle, but within not very long, I was starting to do things that I hadn't been doing. My neck and shoulders didn't hurt anymore. And I don't remember my neck and shoulders ever not hurting. They hurt so much that my husband massages me every single night for 21 years. And he still does, because I like it.
That is love for you.
But it started as - it was for my migraines, my neck and my shoulders.
So what are your pain levels like today?
Most days they're maybe 1. There's always a little bit of something. I'm getting older. I have arthritis in my neck. I have arthritis all over. But it's manageable.
It's kind of the challenge when you've been injured as a child. We're probably about similar age. We're not spring chickens anymore. We're well into our adult years. Let's just leave it there. We're not even young adults anymore. So when you go that many years with an injury, sometimes there is some residual. So you said most days it's around a 1. And before you started this journey, what was most days?
At least a 6, minimum. 6. I was always in pain. It was always something, I couldn't see. My vision was very blurry. You would talk about the white spots and the light. Yeah, same thing. The pain in the base of your neck, same thing.
Malysa, you have an incredible story. So we understand the pain is gone, but how has that changed your life? How is your life different?
I garden. I'm not hiking anymore because I'm starting to get a little bit older. And my husband won't go with me because he's in much worse shape than I am. And I don't want to go alone, but I can do anything now. I travel. Up until last year, I had not been to a concert in 20 years. And before then, I'd only been to 2 in my life because I couldn't handle the lights, the noise, the temperature changes. I couldn't go outside. So when I say when I went hiking, that was not normal for me. What was normal for me was being home with a blanket over the window in the dark. Most of the time in bed.
And now you?
I'm up every day. Sometimes not until 9:00, but that's because I'm laying in bed watching my shows before I start my day.
You've earned it. You've earned a little bit easier lifestyle because of everything you've struggled through. And despite all that pain, you've raised your kids, you've raised them well, and I just can't imagine, and I'm just so pleased that you got your life back.
It was rough. I talk about my migraines, but my whole body was in pain. We were homeless growing up as a kid, so most of the time, I was sleeping on the floorboard of my car, and there's the middle section of the car that goes like that. So that's what I was sleeping on as a kid.
The bump in the middle is what you just motioned.
That was my bed.
My goodness, that’s terrible.
Yeah. My brother slept in the seat, and I slept on the floorboard. And a lot of times, we would have trash bags with clothes inside of them to kind of even it out. But I think that had a lot to do with it. I think just all the different situations I was in.
And despite all that, you have been able to get your life back.
Yes yep, absolutely
Malysa, I've asked you a bunch of things, and you've been very kind to talk about such personal things. What is something that haven't asked you, that you wish I'd asked you, or something that we haven't talked about that you really want to share?
I think my main point is that it will get better. That's probably it. Just keep trying.
That's really powerful. Thank you so much. And I just know that you have given someone hope today. And if you're out there and you're listening to us now, don't give up hope. And maybe if you want to call us, don't wait two years like Malysa did.
Yeah. Do it a little bit sooner. It actually does work. I've seen many chiropractors, and Dr. Elder's the first one that has ever actually helped.
Yeah. Thank you so much.
Okay, so I did forget to mention that because of my childhood and everything that I dealt with growing up, I started a nonprofit. And I started that in, I think it was 2009 or 2010.
Wow. Tell us about that.
It started just as a page to memorialize kids that had been beaten to death, and it turned into paying for kids funerals. It turned into paying for headstones. And I did it all on donations.
For kids that have been abused?
Yes.I've met thousands of families. I've worked with thousands of families all over the US.
You've taken your own pain and your own struggle
That’s how I work through it.
And you've turned it around to help others. So tell us the name of the nonprofit, and if somebody wants to get involved, how do they find it, and what are the biggest needs that you have for that?
My nonprofit status is no longer active. I let it go when I moved back to Texas because I had to - my board of directors were in Michigan. I had a counselor on my voluntary staff, and I couldn't bring her to Texas with me. So I shut it down when we came back. But now it is a Facebook page, and it's called Unforgotten Angels. It's on Facebook. You might be able to Google it. I've shut a lot of that part down.
Forgotten angels on Facebook. So I'll search and put a link in the show notes.
I have almost 2500 kids that are in there that have passed away. I know almost every one of the families.
Oh, my goodness. Wow.
I've gone to trials. I've read the court documents. I’ve read autopsies. That actually helped me work through all of my own stuff, working with other people.
So you've taken the pain that you've gone through and turned it around to shed a light on it.
I turned it around. I started that, and then I started a blog, and I started writing about it. About everything?
So what is
I shut it down. It's still - I have access to it. I don't think the public has access to it, so I can send it to you, and that'll explain a lot.
And then, Malysa, I think we need to get your blog and get it published into a book because of your story. Even just barely scratched the surface here because of how public it is. And it's 30 minutes, but we went a little bit into more detail a little bit earlier, just between the two of us, and I just think we need to get that published.
I've been told several times I should write a book. And I used to be a writer, but as I mentioned earlier, the migraine medication that I took, which was antipsychotic and an anti seizure medicine, I feel like it rewired my brain. I don't know if that makes sense.
Here's my thought on this, Malysa, just speaking as a friend. You have overcome so much, and you have healed from a lot of debilitating things. A lot of it has taken time.
A lot of time.
Yes. And healing takes time, and there are more things to heal. And the healing is not done, including your brain. Would you be willing to come back again sometime in the future and report back on how the healing journey from now until whenever we think it's the right time?
Yes. Because I'm still working on everything.
And definitely if we get your blog posts into a published form, because a series of blog posts can make great chapters in a book. Whenever you publish your book
I will mention you and say it was your idea.
Well, no, I want to interview you and find out about your book, that excites me. So with everything that you have done, you can do that too.
Yeah. And I've lost a lot of memories, but because I've worked through them, I remember too. So I can sit down and write it all out.
Beautiful. Your life is just getting better, and your healing has just begun.
Yes, I agree. It's a work in progress. A very long progress.
Yes. And then we'll circle back to where we thought we ended before. There's always hope.
Yeah, there is. Don't give up. There is help out there. You just have to find it. And don't stop looking, because it's there.
Beautiful.